6(66) Ways to Not Be A Bad Christian On Halloween

Posted by on Oct 31, 2013 in Blog | 1 comment

I come from a long line of Halloween celebrators.  I was born a poor Lutheran boy — well maybe not poor, poor, but we ate hamburger helper by the case and used powder milk "to save money," so there was definitely an austere element.  Halloween, therefore, was by no means an expensive affair.  But it was an affair.  A dress up, candy-seeking, quasi-terrorize the neighborhood affair.  We knew how to celebrate it.  Went all out.  (Mind you this was before Christmas lights went all orange and migrated back two months to Halloween, but that's a whole other rant for later.)

I meet many Christians unsure how to treat Halloween, especially when the doorbell starts ringing.  Halloween has changed over the past few decades.  No surprises since we've moved beyond "Christian" to "Post-."  But the fun part still exists.  So let me suggest living out the fun side of Halloween with your next-door neighbors.  Show them some respect and see what bridges you can build.

Here are 666 :>) things you might consider as you do Halloween well.

1.  Buy great candy.  Don't buy the cheesy, no-name stuff.  Buy Almond Joys and Twix bars and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  Buy Twizzlers and full-size bags of Skittles.  Halloween is synonymous with candy.  Reinforce the connection so that the kids double back to your house.  Throw sugar caution to the wind.  Be THAT neighbor.

2.  Get yourself a costume.  Something fun.  No need to freak out the little preschoolers.  But get into it.  Pretend you're back in highschool.  Become the cool neighbor who always dresses up for Halloween.  Work it.  Go lightly on the blood, perhaps, but heavy eyeshadow might suit you.  Work it.  If you're one of THOSE KIND of people, you could even get something for your pet.

3.  Stay home.  Some of you want to skip out and go elsewhere.  "I hate those little kids." No you don't.  You're just confused.  You think children are made to torment you.  (Maybe it's because you need to lighten up so God routinely sends under-age tormentors?)  Seriously.  Stay home.  And don't go hide in your entertainment room and watch Jason Bourne kill people or some Real Housewife of Beverly Hills spend $1,000 on a hairdo.  (Like that's Christian entertainment.)

4.  AND LEAVE THE FRONT PORCH LIGHT ON.  Thought you had me there, didn't you?  "He said all we had to do was stay home, Joyce, and we'd be good little Christians."  Turn on the light.  Send the signal you're ready and waiting.  Even set up a chair on the front porch.   Make yourself known.  Be present.

5.   Give out lots of candy.  Don't be stingy.  Christians aren't stingy.  If you are, then slap yourself.  Go find your baptism certificate.  (If you don't have one, ask your pastor why not.) Grace is our middle name.  Should be.  It's your God's middle name.  Be generous with the candy.  Give out so much they need help lugging the bag off your porch.

6.  Compliment the costumes.  Find something nice to say.  "Wow, your zombie makeup looks real.  Oh, you ARE real!"  "Wow, I didn't realize we had pirates in this part of town.  Nice peg leg."  "Whoa, now that is one scary ghost.  Nice sheet."  Treat them like they're your spouse fishing for a compliment and you want the evening to be a great one, so you give it…even if you have to make it up.  Seriously.  What's it going to cost you?  End result: your zombie goes home with a word of encouragement in her re-born head.   

You've been sent to your neighborhood.  Be a good neighbor.  Be a Jesus neighbor.  Don't rain on your neighbor's Halloween.  Let the weather do that.

You might even hang up those tacky Halloween lights.  

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